At What Age Can a Child Choose Custody in Florida?

At What Age Can a Child Choose Custody in Florida?

Quick Answer: Florida law has **no specific age** when a child can choose which parent to live with. Courts may consider a child's preference as one of many factors, but the child never gets to "decide." The court always makes the final determination based on the child's best interests.

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The Common Misconception

Many parents believe that at age 12, 14, or 16, their child can simply choose which parent to live with. This is a myth in Florida.

The Truth:

• There is no magic age in Florida
• Children never have the legal right to choose
• Courts may consider preference as ONE factor
• The child's best interests—not wishes—control

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What Florida Law Actually Says

The Best Interests Standard (F.S. 61.13)

Florida Statute 61.13(3) lists 20 factors courts must consider in custody decisions. Regarding child preference:

F.S. 61.13(3)(i): "The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference."

Key Points:

• Preference is ONE of 20 factors
• Child must have "sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience"
• Court decides if the child meets this standard
• Preference is never determinative

No Age Threshold

Unlike some states that set specific ages (Georgia: 14, Texas: 12), Florida intentionally avoids a fixed age because:

• Maturity varies greatly among children
• Some 10-year-olds are more mature than some 16-year-olds
• Age alone doesn't indicate "sufficient understanding"

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How Courts Actually Handle Child Preference

Factors Courts Consider

When deciding whether to consider a child's preference:

Red Flags That Reduce Weight Given to Preference

Courts may discount a child's preference when:

• Reasons sound rehearsed or adult-coached
• Preference seems based on wanting fewer rules
• One parent has obviously influenced the child
• Preference changes frequently
• Child has unrealistic expectations
• Preference contradicts objective evidence

How Preference Is Communicated

Courts have several methods:

**Guardian ad Litem (GAL):** Under F.S. 61.401-61.405, a GAL can interview the child privately and report the child's views to the court.

**In Camera Interview:** The judge may interview the child privately in chambers (without parents present) to assess preference and maturity.

**Child's Testimony:** Rarely, older teenagers may testify in court, though most judges avoid this to protect children from the stress.

**Therapist or Evaluator Report:** A mental health professional may assess the child and include preferences in their report.

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What Carries More Weight Than Preference

Courts prioritize these factors over a child's stated preference:

1. Parenting History

Who has been the primary caregiver? Who attends school events, doctors' appointments, and activities?

2. Stability and Continuity

Keeping children in their school, community, and routines matters.

3. Each Parent's Ability to Co-Parent

Under F.S. 61.13(3)(a), courts consider "the capacity and disposition of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship."

4. Safety Concerns

Any history of domestic violence, substance abuse, or neglect.

5. Living Arrangements

Quality of each parent's home, neighborhood safety, proximity to school.

6. Mental and Physical Health

Of both parents and children.

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Common Scenarios

"My 16-year-old refuses to go to dad's house"

Even a 16-year-old's refusal doesn't automatically change custody. However:

• Courts recognize that forcing a teenager is impractical
• The other parent can file for contempt or modification
• Courts may order family therapy
• Reasons for refusal will be investigated

If refusal stems from legitimate concerns (safety, abuse), courts will address that. If it's based on preference for fewer rules, courts are less sympathetic.

→ **Need to modify custody?** Our [Parenting Plan Modification](/services/modify-parenting) service can help you petition for changes based on your child's needs.

"My 8-year-old says she wants to live with me"

An 8-year-old's preference will likely receive minimal weight because:

• Limited understanding of long-term consequences
• Easily influenced by either parent
• May be based on short-term factors (who bought ice cream recently)

"My ex is coaching our child to prefer them"

Document concerns about coaching and raise them with your attorney. Signs of coaching:

• Child uses adult language
• Child repeats specific phrases
• Child can't explain reasons in own words
• Sudden change in preference coinciding with conflict

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What Parents Should Know

Don't Put Children in the Middle

Never:

• Ask children who they want to live with
• Tell children they can "choose" at a certain age
• Use children's stated preferences against the other parent
• Pressure children to state a preference

This harms children and can backfire legally.

Don't Make Promises Based on Preference

Don't tell your child "If you say you want to live with me, the judge will let you." This:

• Is legally inaccurate
• Puts inappropriate pressure on children
• Can be seen as manipulation

If You're the Non-Preferred Parent

This is painful, but:

• Maintain your relationship consistently
• Don't react with anger toward the child
• Consider whether there are legitimate concerns to address
• Document your involvement and attempts to parent
• Consider family therapy

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How to Present Your Case

If you believe your child's preference should be considered:

→ **Need a parenting plan?** Our [Parenting Plan Preparation](/services/parenting-plan) service creates comprehensive plans that address custody and time-sharing.

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Get Legal Advice

Child custody involves many factors beyond preference. Schedule a [$95 Strategy Session](/services/strategy-session) to understand how Florida law applies to your specific situation.